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Cravings!

You know how you walk past a Coldstone Creamery and the aroma of the freshly baked waffle cone blending with the sweet smell of ice cream and hot chocolate fudge comes wafting thru and your mind just starts pleading with the feet to step inside? Or the really strong urge to call Dominos and order that steaming hot large, double-crusted pizza with a side order of Garlic bread sticks with a tub of rich jalapeno cream cheese thrown in for good measure simply because you thought you smelt cheese melting in the oven? Or, for a more desi flavor, the temptation to stop by the mirchi bhajji store for a late afternoon snack, or for that matter, that sizzling, dripping-in-oil aloo tikki from the local chat wala? Yeah, those are the cravings I am referring to. Boy, aren’t those hard to ignore? And seriously hard if you are in the midst of a resolution to get back in shape – when you are not supposed to have something is precisely when you really, really badly need it.

Which is where I find myself these days. My life has been like a Laurel and Hardy movie over the past few years – sadly, I’ve played both roles! I was Stan for most of the early part of my life, and lately, I think I do ample justice to Mr. Hardy. To be clear, I am referring more to the girth factor here, not as much the mirth. And while the Ollie image has been very helpful from a road rage perspective in heckling and intimidating fellow drivers (clearly they were always in the wrong) on the not-so-friendly Indian roads, it does come at a cost – You no longer fit into clothes that normal people wear. Football is a game that you merely enjoy on TV or at the foosball table – none of that on-the-field stuff; Just looking at a soccer field was tiring! Climbing a single flight of stairs makes you feel like you just completed the Boston marathon. You are no longer sitting next to the fat guy on an airplane, you are that fat guy. And every time you walk, you feel like you were dragging a blue whale behind you, and truth be told, maybe you are! So yeah, life as Stan just seemed a lot easier overall and that’s where the cravings started to take center-stage.

But if the resolve is strong, that battle shall be won fair and square. Shower enough abuse on that blubber in the gym, and the cravings will start to go away; in fact, they become downright repulsive. It isn’t easy but when you push yourself to the limit and the body is running on just the fumes left in the tank, trust me, that melting Nutty Crunch in a chocolate-dipped waffle cone is the last thing on your mind. And thankfully, that state of mind lasts for several hours thereafter. Of course, I make it sound easy – putting yourself through that kinda physical punishment takes a lot of determination – I find myself constantly playing mind games with the calorie counter until I know I’ve gone far enough and inflicted a crushing defeat on that slimy treadmill, because that’s the only way I can keep the incredibly boring routine going. And no new pearls of wisdom here, but possibly reinforcement of the simple stuff that helps – and yes, this stuff does work:

  • Yeah, the cravings first, of course – need to be able to overcome them to begin with
  • Keep the diet simple. Just a disciplined roti + daal combo for dinner worked wonders
  • Forget about oily foods for a few days, and go easy on the sugar – these are constantly working in collusion with the eveil forces, so you are better off without em
  • Lots and lots of water – easier said than done, I know, but water works magic
  • Try and walk where you’d be driving before. Getting the legs some strength is important, and so is getting the stamina up

The first few days back on the battlefield are particularly painful, but thankfully, it gets progressively easier. And when its all over and done with, if the satisfaction of having vanquished the monster isn’t enough, the sweet sense of victory as you ride back into Stan-vile makes all that effort so totally worthwhile. Cravings, what cravings?

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